Day 314 of Isolation

As we approach the year mark of time spent quarantined, there’s finally hope that the vaccine will be distributed quickly enough to save 2021. The past few weeks have been an odd contrast of eventful political news days lighting up our computers and complete monotony staring at the same walls of our homes. With the second semester rapidly approaching and free time dwindling, students are feeling a mix of dread for the constant Zoom meetings, excitement for a new set of classes and, for some of us, the chance to live on-campus again. There’s nothing more for me to really say here - on the small-scale, life has remained the same as it has been throughout this long winter of late nights on Zoom, freezing walks around our neighborhoods, and makeshift holiday celebrations.

On January 6th, the day after my last post was published, I was half-watching news coverage of Washington when a historically unprecedented coup occurred. Inside the Capitol, the electors were counting the votes and certifying the presidential election results, and outside, a dangerously-misinformed mob bubbled ominously like a pot of rancid soup. Within an hour, these people who’d been urged and encouraged by the now-former president to physically rebel against America’s own democratic process were striding onto the Capitol floor like unruly children on a field trip who’d soon be admonished and forced to write apology letters for their behavior.

By this point, I was frantically refreshing TikTok as my mother, sitting beside me at our kitchen table, frantically refreshed Twitter, desperate for updates. The pictures of white supremacists trashing the government building are surreal and terrifying, and even more so is the fact that so many people were willing to turn to violence at the call of our now-former President. The events of that Wednesday cast a fog over the next few weeks for me, having been reminded of how much is wrong in the world and how little I can currently do to change it, with how hard it is to even reach the people who believe misinformation, let alone convince them of the truth. I considered adding a message to any election-denying readers here before realizing that I’ve definitely alienated those hypothetical people months ago (oh well, such are the perils of expressing one’s opinion online).

Anyway, though, the inauguration last week, which I’d worried would be a somehow-catastrophic way to end the domestic unrest storyline that’s been unfolding, happened exactly as planned. Now we have a new president who is, most importantly, dedicated to distributing this vaccine as quickly as possible, reaching for a goal of 100 million shots within his first 100 days in office. And, after winning both Senate seats in Georgia, there will now be a majority so that legislation that will end this can actually be passed. Personally, I’m keeping my hopes low, since this pandemic often feels like a succession of promises that end up sorely disappointing. I’ve heard that one should remain hopeful, but I’m trying to keep my mind squarely in the realm of either the present and physical or the distant future - fall of senior year, the latest time I’ll accept as a deadline for normalcy (I say as if I have any power at all over how long this lasts). Regardless, it’s important to be extra safe now, as we’re so close to the finish line that shines in the nebulous future of each of our individual vaccinations.

Cases are still going up, and it’s even getting worse in my city - my mother is now grocery shopping alone at odd hours of the day, and I can’t remember the last time I was inside a building other than my home. A few more people I know are getting sick, including one of my best friends who was being safe but now has the new, more contagious British strain, which has now arrived on our side of the pond (as if we didn’t already have enough reasons to slander the Brits) (sorry xx). I’m hoping that while I’m on campus through mid-March, the spring weather will lead to more outdoor gatherings and finally end the drastic case peak of the winter.

Even now, less than two weeks from my move-in date, it still hasn’t really hit me that what will almost certainly be the best six weeks of the first half of my year are almost upon me. I’ll be physically seeing friends who currently exist to me only as disembodied voices and smiling faces on my computer screen, and that’s objectively so exciting to think about. I don’t mean this as a brag to those of my friends who are learning from home until late March or for the rest of the year - regardless of your situation, your time in isolation will, in all probability, be lessened within a few months. Winter is the hardest, but soon (especially in my notoriously hot and humid home state), we’ll at least be able to picnic, take breezy walks, and comfortably enjoy the necessity of outdoor socialization again.

As I come to the end of another post, it becomes harder and harder to voice thoughts that aren’t repetitive, or negative, or both. Although “this sucks” is nowhere near a hot take, I’m tired of pretending that it isn’t true. With all the time that’s passed, no one can ignore the amount of non-distanced fun and life milestones that have been vacuumed out of existence in all of our lives.

In the midst of all this darkness, though, there are still small slivers of joy to be found in the present and shining from the future. No one I’ve talked to has said they’d want to return to the person they were last March in favor of the people they are today - we’ve all become stronger, or kinder, or more confident in some way. Making it through this quarantine intact is a feat to be proud of, and know that one day, you’ll look back on the person you are now and admire your strength - through a pandemic that’s seemed determined to beat us all down, you’ve remained standing and yourself.

XOXO, Quaranteen